When you tune in this time, it's a weird old British show. It's about a spy who tries to retire, but gets kidnapped and taken prisoner to a strange island where they try to break his mind. A lone tough-guy on an island full of weirdoes. You can relate to his situation. As you tune in, the ex-spy is having a tense conversation with the Island's second in command:
'...I am a free man!' asserts the Prisoner. His Jailor laughs in reply, then grows suddenly serious.
'Tell me, Prisoner, have you ever been televised?' he asks.
'Yes, Televised. As in, on Television?'
'Haven't we all? We're on Television now, aren't we?'
'Indeed!' laughs the Jailer, as he stands up from his hemispherical 1960's art-deco chair. He waves the prisoner over towards a silver tea-set on a nearby cart. 'And once you're on Television, we have you.'
'You have me?' the Prisoner asks quizzically. 'And who exactly is that?'
'You my boy, as in you, and I, and we. All of us. We're all ON Television, therefore we're all part OF Television.' The Jailer takes a sip of tea, then motions towards you with his teacup. 'Come here, Dread Tomax, I'll need your help with this. Not only will it prove my point, but it will help to eliminate a certain individual who is becoming problematic for the entire Television community. All we'll need is a bit of outside help.'
The Jailer continues his speech both to you and to the skeptical Prisoner:
'Well, do you both understand the basic idea?'
'That if we are Televised, then we are also part of Television?' the Prisoner asks.
'Quite! and if...'
'And if we step out of line, what will Television do?' the Prisoner interrupts.
'Yes, what will it do? It must do something.'
'Yes! It must do something or it's not a threat. And you wouldn't have brought Dread Tomax here if it wasn't a threat.'
The Jailer erupts in another big belly-laugh. 'My good man,' he chortles, 'One only makes threats when one is uncertain of victory. And with Dread Tomax for an ally, victory is assured. I'll show you what Television can do!' The Jailer turns to you again. 'Your target is a Fortunata called Bessanpi. She's a censor who works for Arachnos, aiding Mr. Pither in limiting what people can or cannot watch on Television. Unfortunately for her, she's been interviewed on Television, and thus, she has hallowed herself to be Televised! Your mission will be to eliminate one of her, so that we can replace her with someone more understanding. Someone more loyal. Someone just like her, only capable of living in harmony with Television. Someone like her previously Televised self. Oh, it will all make sense once you're on the scene. Just make sure our Bessenpi makes it through alright. I'll leave you to it.'
With that, The Jailer opens a giant viewscreen that show the inside of a huge lava-lamp, and he and the Prisoner embark on an even more confusing conversation.
Arachnos Base @ Grandville (Arachnos)
This could be ... weird.
Mission Complete: You helped to replace an enemy of Television.
When you get back to the TV the same show is on, but it looks like things have gone crazy. The Prisoner seems like his will is nearly broken, and there's a duplicate of him dressed in opposite colors standing next to the Jailer. There are guys in weird uniforms with machine guns, there's a big weather balloon bouncing around eating people, there's a parliament of guys in masks, and other, weirder, things. Just as you're about to turn the TV off to preserve your sanity, the Jailer lifts a tea cup at you and motions you closer.
'Excellent work!' he shouts, and bellows a deep laugh. 'Now with our point made, thanks to your help, I think this Prisoner will soon stop being such a troublemaker. He's part of Television, after all! And you, my good villain, are one of the friends of Television! Television is always there for it's friends. After all, there's always re-runs. Now then, I'll be seeing you!' The jailer breaks into another deep laugh that continues as the episode fades to black and the credits play.