Minor Story ArcThe TV Report

Summary

Mission Index

  1. Make Dr. Aeon write a paper (Arachnos)
  2. Get Viridian's signature
  3. Wipe out Malta cell (Malta Operatives,Knives of Artemis)
  4. Get Viridian's signature
  5. Talk to Mr. Pither
  6. Defeat all Arachnoids (Arachnoids)
  7. Get Mr. Pither's signature
  8. Deliver report to Daos

Watch more Television

Television

The Television is playing an episode of a witty animated comedy about a dysfunctional and highly entertaining cartoon family. As you join the show, the comedically idiotic and overweight father of the cartoon family has nearly destroyed their town due to massive negligence at his job. His long-suffering but equally crazy brood all stand before him as he tries to eplain why their town was almost over-run by radioactive mimes and their lawyers. It's a pretty typical moment for the show.

'So it all came out for the best!' he says, with the self-satisfaction only a true idiot can muster.

'No, Dad,' his insufferable daughter protests. 'There are killer mimes everywhere, half the town is radioactive, and the other half is being sued out of existence for trying to stop the mimes.'

'She does have a point,' muses the mother. 'Though this does mean there will be more parking at the mall...'

'See!' the father says. 'You just have to look on the bright side. Half the town is perfectly fine until the lawyers foreclose on it, and that's enough time for more TV.'

'But if you hadn't been watching TV at work, then none of this would have happened.' The bratty son interjects.

'While that is technically true, that would also mean I would have missed TV. And, as I think Dread Tomax can tell you, there's nothing worse than missing good Television. In fact, I think everyone would just be happier if they ignored the rampaging mobs or atomic mimes, and stopped trying to blame people for creating and then accidentally unleashing them, or even for advising them to seek legal council; and instead just watched more Television. Isn't that right, Dread Tomax? People should watch more Television'

The rest of the cartoon family has stopped still, and the cartoon father is talking directly to you.

'Now, I know what you're thinking. How could someone like you, an incredibly powerful and well-connected villain with personal links to several of the leaders of Arachnos possibly be able to help Television? Well that's easy! You're just going to convince Arachnos to make all of their people watch more Television. But to do that, you're going to need an authorized scientific report. And you're going to get one the old-fashioned way: By forcing a nerd to write it for you. I'd suggest Dr. Aeon. He's about as nerdy as you can get.'

Part 1: Make Dr. Aeon write a paper (Capture Dr. Aeon)
Laboratory @ Grandville (Arachnos)

Dr. Aeon tends to split his time between Aeon City in Cap Au Diable and Aeon Corporation here in Grandville. He should be here today.

Mission Complete: You got the report from Dr. Aeon.

ClueThe Television Report

This is the report you forced Dr. Aeon to write, and it's a doozy. It extols the virtues Television has on the human mind. How Television can provide relaxation, catharsis, and provide fictional frameworks for the confusing events of daily life. It suggests that increasing the TV allowance of Arachnos troops, and imposing mandatory TV times for Arachnos squads could improve morale across the board and assist social bonding within and between units by giving Arachnos soldiers additional common experiences. You're listed as one of the co-authors of this report, along with Dr. Aeon.

Television

When you return to the TV, the cartoon father is sitting on his couch, watching TV, drinking beer, and eating snack food with a radioactive mime on one side and a lawyer on the other.

'So you see,' he says with idiot's wisdom, 'Television truly helps to bring people together. Some people find that hard to believe, but that's why we can force nerds to write scientific papers that prove it. Now if only we could get more people to watch Television...'

Father, Mime, and Lawyer all start puzzling over the problem as the episode comes to an end.


Accept the mission

Television

There's an old spy show playing on Television when you tune in. As you tune in, the elite team of espionage specialists are gathered around an old style of tape recorder, anxiously awaiting their latest top-secret impossible mission. The leader of the group stabs his fingers down on the 'Play' button, and they all listen intently as the tape starts to play.

'Greetings, team,' the tape begins. 'Your mission today will be to stop the assassination of the Ambassador of West Libertalia by mercenary forces. But before I give you the details for that, I must address Dread Tomax.' The rest of the spy team looks surprised, but their grey haired leader nods grimly, and motions you closer as the tape continues to play. 'Dread Tomax, we need to use your high standing, power, and connections to assist Television. This will be your mission, if you choose to accept it.'

The whole spy team seems relieved now that you've agreed to help Television. The tape continues to play.

'Dread Tomax, the report you hold is vitally important for the future of Television. But before it can be submitted to Arbiter Daos for implementation, you need to get it approved by two other high-ranking members of Arachnos. Your first Target will be Viridian, the chief of counter-intelligence operations. Do whatever task he gives you, but you must get that signature. Now, for the rest of you, the operation is simple. First, you'll have to pretend to be a traveling circus in need of a lion-tamer...' The voice on the tape keeps talking, telling the people in the show what they need to know. But you know what you have to do.

Part 2: Get Viridian's signature
Delivery @ Grandville
Viridian

Okay, Dread Tomax, I'll look at this report from Aeon. Really, I don't care. I have other problems. There's a thought. If you help me with my problem, I'll sign this for you. Here's the problem: The Malta Group. Normally, we both walk a line. Neither of us wants a shadow war. Too costly. But a cell of Malta operatives have crossed the line. Malta thinks they're just testing where the line is. They're wrong. They pushed it. I need someone to push them back. Wipe out the Malta cell. They're disguised as a small accountancy firm. When that's done, I'll sign anything you want. Leave the report with me. I'll wait for you to get back.

Part 3: Wipe out Malta cell
Office @ Grandville (Malta Operatives,Knives of Artemis)

This is supposed to be a 'small accounting firm'? By what definition of 'Small'?

Mission Complete: You elminated the Malta cell

Part 4: Get Viridian's signature
Delivery @ Grandville
Viridian

So, there were Knives of Artemis there as well? They normally handle covert assassinations. That information alone makes it worthwhile to sign this. I really don't care about TV one way or the other. Well, except for my stories. I'm not afraid to admit that I love my soap operas. I've been following some of them since college. Here you go.

ClueSigned Television Report

This is the report you forced Dr. Aeon to write, and it's a doozy. It extols the virtues Television has on the human mind. How Television can provide relaxation, catharsis, and provide fictional frameworks for the confusing events of daily life. It suggests that increasing the TV allowance of Arachnos troops, and imposing mandatory TV times for Arachnos squads could improve morale across the board and assist social bonding within and between units by giving Arachnos soldiers additional common experiences. You're listed as one of the co-authors of this report, along with Dr. Aeon.

The report now bears the signature of Viridian, the chief of Arachnos Counter-Intelligence Operations.

Television

When you get back, the spy team is in the middle of an intricate four-way double deception between multiple factions. The gray haired leader of the team takes a minute out from pretending to be the boss of the lion-taming assassin to quickly tell say a few words to you.

'Great work, Dread Tomax. Now there's only one signature to go. I'm busy right now, so if you want to find out which signature to get next, maybe you should watch some science fiction.


Get the last signature

Television

You decide to take in some science fiction Television, and instantly find just the thing. It's a show set on a space station in the far future, where humans and aliens gather for political alliances, trade negotiations, and cultural exchanges. It's full of thought-provoking plots, intrigue, betrayal, and some great space battles. As you tune in, the seasoned human station commander is talking with his cunning security officer.

'Okay, what if we lock down the fighting sides in their quarters?' asks the security chief. 'It won't work,' says the Station Commander, shaking his head. 'We don't have the manpower, and even if we could get it, putting everyone under house arrest would cause the diplomatic incident our shadowy enemy's spies have been waiting for. No, we need to have more people monitoring the station. And to do that, we need more people watching us on Television.' The Security Chief nods as the Station Commander, who turns to face you.'And Dread Tomax, you can help us get more people watching Television. all we need is one more signature.

'I knew we could count on you', the Station Commander says.

'Yeah, we can always count on a villain when it comes to getting paid, wreaking mayhem, or saving their own neck.' the Security Chief says snidely.

The Commander silences him with a glare. 'The next person you need to talk to is Mr. Pither, the efficiency expert. Do whatever he asks to get his signature. If he signs that report, it will carry a lot of weight Oh, and watch out for Malta. They may still be upset with you.'

The two go back to their deliberations, but now you know what to do.

Part 5: Talk to Mr. Pither
@ Grandville
Efficiency Expert Pither

You've arrived just in the nick of time, Dread Tomax. I will look over this. I cannot say I agree that an increase in Television viewing time will end up with more relaxed and therefore more capable troops, but I am in desperate need of assistance. If you can clear up my problem, I will sign whatever you wish. My problem is this:

A large nest of Arachnoids has been making raids against Arachnos troops. This is disrupting the efficiency of all Arachnos action in that area. I need that nest destroyed. Do that, and you will have your signature.

Part 6: Defeat all Arachnoids
Tunnels @ Grandville (Arachnoids)

These eerie caverns are filled with strange and unsettling things.

Mission Complete: You have wiped out the Arachnoids in these caves.

Part 7: Get Mr. Pither's signature
Delivery @ Grandville
Efficiency Expert Pither

The Arachnoid raids have decreased after your attack. Dedicating a few recreational hours a week to improve troop morale through television is an equitable trade. Take your document.

ClueThe Television Report

This is the report you forced Dr. Aeon to write, and it's a doozy. It extols the virtues Television has on the human mind. How Television can provide relaxation, catharsis, and provide fictional frameworks for the confusing events of daily life. It suggests that increasing the TV allowance of Arachnos troops, and imposing mandatory TV times for Arachnos squads could improve morale across the board and assist social bonding within and between units by giving Arachnos soldiers additional common experiences. You're listed as one of the co-authors of this report, along with Dr. Aeon.

The report now bears the signature of Viridian, the chief of Arachnos Counter-Intelligence Operations, and Mr. Pither, Arachnos' efficiency expert.

Part 8: Deliver report to Daos
Delivery @ Grandville
Arbiter Daos

I've heard you were preparing a report for me, Dread Tomax. Let me take a look. Hmm. More Television? Well, you did have Dr. Aeon as a co-author, and you have some very important people who've reviewed it. Considering your power and position, I'll have to take this into serious consideration. I'll forward this report directly to Lord Recluse himself. Thank you for bringing this to me.

Television

You tune back in just at the climax of a massive space battle on the sci-fi show you were watching earlier. You watch the whole thing unfold and come down to a satisfying conclusion. There are a few quiet moments before the show's heroes realize that they've won, but then the celebration starts. The stern Station Commander takes a moment to address everyone over the public address system.

'We've won a great victory today, and I want to thank everyone. In particular, I'd like to thank Dread Tomax, without whom, this whole victory would have been impossible. Let us look today as the first day of a new galaxy! A galaxy of prosperity. A galaxy of opportunity. A galaxy of Television. That is all.'


Souvenir: An Arachnos Rec Schedule

These new recreational schedules are being implemented for all Arachnos troops based on a report you presented to Arbiter Daos. Sure, the scientific report was faked and written under threat, and sure you did this because voices on the TV told you to, but it still feels like an accomplishment whenever you look at the 2 hour block of additional TV time in the evening each Arachnos soldier gets thanks to

The TV Report

It all seems to make sense now that you think about it. People need more Television, so it's up to you to make sure that they watch more. And what better way to convince people to watch more television than with a fake scientific paper you forced Dr. Aeon to write?

The next step seemed to make sense, too. You had to get some signatures to help authenticate the report advocating more TV time for all Arachnos troops. You first talked to Viridian, who agreed to sign the paper if you helped him out by cleaning out a Malta group call. Once that was done he signed off gladly, even admitting his own ongoing love of soap operas.

Your friends inside the TV told you that the next signature you needed would be from Mr. Pither, the efficiency expert. He was willing to agree if you managed to take out a nest of Arachnoids that was raiding Arachnos bases and attacking patrols. You handled it, and Pither put his signature on the report.

Arbiter Daos was skeptical at first, but with such important names attached, he accepted the TV Report, and passed on his recommendations to get more people watching television. So it all worked out perfectly in the end.

Or did it... Whenever you try to think about it, it all seems strange. It all made perfect sense at the time, but now your mind starts to cloud over when you try to figure it out. Maybe you should watch see more TV. That might help clear your head.


RedTomax.com

Titan Network

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